Tragedy struck my adopted hometown of Boulder last Monday. I was in Seattle, helping my mom move, when Ben called to tell me that he was okay, not to worry, despite the national news and reports of an active shooter at the Table Mesa King Sooper.
A mass shooting in Boulder? Of all places: quiet, peaceful, hippy loving Boulder? Please tell me you’re joking.
Then it became a waiting game as they didn’t release the names of the victims until the next of kin were notified. So many people’s lives were turned inside out: sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, grandparents – gone.
I started checking in on my people, making sure they were ok and not by some chance getting groceries at that grocery store. So many of my friends shop at that store and live nearby. It could have happened to anyone.
It wasn’t until I went to our King Sooper in Gunbarrel on Wednesday and an active cop was standing outside of the store entrance that it hit me sideways. I got back in my car and started bawling. That uncontrollable lump in your throat, brick in your gut sense of loss. To know what it’s like to lose someone suddenly is a blessing and a curse. In a nanosecond, you’re whisked back into the moment you first found out and that sinking feeling was confirmed by a police officer. Where saying “I’m sorry” just doesn’t cut it. All you can do is hold space.
My heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones and as they are thrown into grief. May our community heal from this and support and love one another.