This is a great need in the world. A need to understand grief. To not shy away from death or not know what to say to someone faces loss.
I want the world to understand that grief is a gift. That it’s full of possibilities and opportunity. That it tests a persons moral character to their core, only to emerge a fresh and new perspective, if they choose.
I had to choose. I faced the dark reality of losing my soul mate in 2008 at thirty years old. It was quick and sudden and I can only pray that it was painless. He fell six hundred feet down a sheer rock face. In that moment, time stopped. And from that point forward life as I knew it was forever different.
I looked for comfort in grief books, online forums, therapists, psychics, friends and family. They wanted to help, but they didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t know what to tell them. But I did know that right away if I was going to survive such tragedy I needed to shift my perspective on death. I recognized that to love is the ultimate risk. Everyone will die. And being open to love means to lose that person, eventually.
I wasn’t willing to accept the current paradigm on death and dying. I didn’t buy into the stages of grief. And the online forums seemed like a community of dark, depressed people who were trying to block out the light. I read every book on grief I could get my hands on trying to find hope that grief is a gift. While there were a few, it wasn’t the majority. And I believe deep down to my core that this is something the world needs.
I am writing a book. I’m telling my story about overcoming grief. About looking at life as a gift and the acceptance and transformation I experienced in hopes that it comforts others in need. That it gives them something to hold onto during the darkest waves of loss. It gets better. It gets better beyond your wildest dreams. I am living proof.
If you or someone you know is struggling with the loss of a loved one, please pass along my contact information.